John the Pumpkin King
by Ozlex
Summary: It's Halloween on Atlantis and John gets turned into a Jack O'Lantern.


I don't own Atlantis or any of it's characters

_AN: This is just a little fun in honour of Halloween. _

His target was in sight, only a few more steps and he would be upon him. Breathe quickening and sweat beading on his forehead with the thrill over the hunt, he stalked down the long blue halls waiting for the opportune moment. Suddenly his prey stopped, sensing his presence and he knew that in a moment's time his prey would turn around and see him. Another corridor to his left offered a perfect place to hide and it was only a second before he was pushing his back against the cold wall… waiting.

His prey hastily turned mumbling something inaudible before calling "Heloooo… anyone there. You…. you better come out… I'm armed, I warn you."

He knew the man lied he wasn't armed, but he was scared. He could almost taste the fear and which meant the time had almost arrived.

The man threw his hands up in exasperation, mumbling under his breathe curses about creepy ghost cities, before turning to walk up the deserted corridor again. His pace was now noticeably quicker with panic.

Following a bit further behind the frightened cautious man he saw the doorway ahead, the time had come. Closing the distance quickly yet quietly between them as the man approached the doorway he snuck up behind the man unsuspecting back.

Just as his prey reached for the control on the side of the door he reared up looming over his unsuspecting back. Just when his hand was an inch from the control the man slowly began to turn.

It was time.

With the biggest voice he could muster he screamed into his prey's ears watching joyfully as the man jumped 3 feet in the air. "McKAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!"

Leaning back against the wall to the side Sheppard watched in pure contentment as McKay unsuccessfully tried to compose himself.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?" Leaning forward McKay grabbed at his chest and panted heavily, "You nearly gave me a heart attack. I mean could you be any more immature."

"What did I scare you McKay?"

"No…. I mean you just … just surprised me is all. Besides what are you doing following me anyway?"

"Teyla sent me for your Jack O'Lantern." By the confused look on McKay's face Sheppard knew that he had forgotten. "Don't tell me you didn't do your Jack O'Lantern, McKay."

Suddenly the light went on in McKay's high powered brain, "Oh the competition….. right but that's on Halloween."

"McKay, it is Halloween."

"It is?"

Sheppard couldn't believe that this was the man that on frequent occasions saved all their collective butts.

"Geeze McKay, where have you been living for the last week… in a cave? The Athosian's have gone wild with decorations everywhere. Who would've thought they would embrace Halloween so completely?"

"Well unlike some people I've actually been working not playing with plastic bats. But your in luck, I finished a practice pumpkin this morning. It's in my lab"

The pair walked into Rodney's lab which was the same as ever cluttered and full of noise machines.

"So you didn't make a Jack O'Lantern for the competition." Sheppard sighed over his friend's inability to have any fun. "I'm telling you know that you are going to the party if I have to drag you there myself. People will think the sack I throw over your head will be a costume but I can tell you know it won't be a costume."

Rodney physically gulped before replying "Fine I'll come to the stupid party but only if you help me first. I need your gene to activate the piece we found on MX45- 766."

"Well don't sound so enthused." Sheppard was slightly offended.

It had taken a lot of energy to get Colonel Carter to agree to this party. He had to even use the "troubling times" card which he never like to use. It was worth then effort though the gateroom looked amazing with all the creepy decorations and Teyla and the Athosian's were very excited about the festivities. While the Lantean's were coming as all the Earth monsters every single Athosian was coming as a wraith. Luckily John had got to Ronon early and leant him an excellent Conan the Barbarian costume. If nothing else at least McKay would get a laugh out of that.

Sighing he feigned defeat "Very well I'll touch the ancient thingy ma-jig…but your coming to that party McKay. Where is this gadget?"

McKay led him over to a table carrying multiple pieces of seeming junk and a couple of laptops. Picking up a piece that looked like an unadorned tiara Rodney moved to place it on Sheppard's head.

2 minutes passed in tense silence before Rodney could contain his impatience any longer, "Well, turn it on?"

"I'm trying, it doesn't seem to want to respond." Sheppard really was trying the usual thoughts of 'On' and 'Activate' just didn't seem to be working.

"Try something different then." Rodney snapped looking at John with his normal arrogance.

In the corner of John's eye he caught sight of something orange. On the desk to John's right sat the ugliest Jack O'Lantern he had ever seen.

Snorting Sheppard pointed "Ha, McKay is that your lantern?"

"Yes…. Why whats wrong with it?" Rodney looked at his pumpkin with pride before turning a suspicious eye on John.

"Nothing…only that it's the ugliest Jack O'Lantern in history." The pumpkin had crooked squinty eyes one bigger than the other, nostrils that were much too large and a malformed mouth that encompassed the whole bottom half of the face.

Rodney looked at Sheppard in exasperation "It's a Jack O'Lantern, it supposed to be ugly……"

Rodney stopped talking as the ancient tiara on John's head began to glow and a beam of light left its apex and connected with the pumpkin. John's eyes grew large when suddenly his body folded underneath him in a dead faint.

Rushing to his side Rodney yelled before checking the man's pulse. "SHEPPARD, don't do this on me." With a great sigh of relief McKay found a strong and steady pulse, but no matter what he tried John wouldn't wake up.

"Sheppard… time to get up now. I know it's Halloween but enough with the scaring Rodney game. It's getting very old very quickly." When that didn't work he tried for the screaming again "Sheppard….SHEPPARD….John!"

"What McKay… what do you want. Would you stop yelling?"

Rodney sighed with relief at hearing John's voice, but wait that can't be right. Looking down at Sheppard's still unconscious body Rodney threw up his head and looked around the room. "Sheppard, where are you? Don't tell me your in another dimension?"

"No I'm right here looking at you."

Rodney followed the noise until his eyes landed on his Jack O'Lantern.

"Rodney…why am I staring at my own body?" Rodney's eyes went wide in amazement as he saw the pumpkin's mouth move forming the words with Sheppard's voice.

"Dear god, Sheppard you're a pumpkin."

XXXXXX

Funny he didn't feel like a pumpkin, but now that he though about it he couldn't move anything but his face.

"You've got to be joking…. I'm not a pumpkin." Maybe if he said it wasn't true it wouldn't be.

"Then get over here and give me a hand with you unconscious body." McKay's voice was dipping with sarcasm. Rodney usually got sarcastic when he was absolutely dumbfounded and John couldn't blame him. What the hell sought of thing tuned a person into a pumpkin.

Suddenly the thought of what people would say struck him. John wasn't usually someone who cared what people thought but really he would never live this down.

"MCKAY, you better fix this before someone finds out."

Rodney shuddered. It really was unnerving watching the pumpkins mouth move and hearing Sheppard's voice. He was almost certain that he had just seen the pumpkin's face crease in a Sheppard frown but it was so malformed he couldn't be certain.

"Fine…. Ah maybe if I just take the device off you return to your body." Rodney moved over to Sheppard's unconscious body once again.

John would try anything to return to his body. "Ok, do it…quickly."

Taking the ancient tiara off Rodney stood in tense anticipation. John just waited anxiously for the transfer back to his body. When nothing happened he let out a giant sigh making Rodney jump in the air for the second time that day.

"Great, I'm going to live out my days as a pumpkin. Why not just start calling me John the Pumpkin King and be done with it."

TBC


End file.
